TO MEMENG ^^

I'm in a complicated status now and it's different and the same. It's wonderful and yet I still grieve in small ways for my old life. I miss old ones, but I also feel completely at home here. And I guess that's the way it was meant to be.

I was a child of a mismatched realationship and you would have thought that experience would have been enough to sway me, but it wasn't. The desire to be loved is powerful. The God-placed yearning for a partner can sometimes make you forget who exactly you are yearning for.

I'm so glad that I was reminded and that I woke up and finally heard it.

MY DRUNK FRIENDS.

Oh, the disco heaven
Oh, the disco heaven
Get back, bunny
It's getting cold in here little honey
We got a show to put on your dress
Take a minute for us and relax, relax
Cupid's got me, oh with his bow & arrow, baby












Throw your head back, girly
Throw it like those girls in the movies
We got a show to put on your dress
Take a minute for us and relax, relax















The ball is turning, 300 mirrors burning
Through the hearts of the crowd
In the back hips just banging the track
To the music, the music










PAKPAK MGA PALACHOLE! ^^

The Velocity of Existence

It's morning and I'm feeling a bit emotional pressed so I'm writing on this computer screen hoping that somewhere someone is needing something. What a night. Sometimes life seems to throw you curve balls for no other reason than watching you hurt. A flawed people medicating a flawed people...resolution is unreachable. I watched the news today. It's reporters were a mediocre attempt at being a worthwhile performance, but the content overshadowed any flaws in reporting. It is just the thousandth piece to the puzzle of our corrupt government, and it's doings therein. So many times Christians naturally move toward to the conservative candidate due to pro-life issues with abortion, while they ignore the utter disregard for life already being lived out on earth. Is standing up for unborn children enough to negate the disregard for human life already in motion pertaining to the acts of war and sacrifice? Misplaced energy seems to be a re-occurring theme in our society as of late. We're based on hard lined inconsistency and selective conscience. The left and right are far off the mark at this point, but a line must be drawn somewhere. Secondly, Humanity is meant to self destruct itself, im sure of it. We are born to be children of purpose and hope, yet we are filled with lies and sow destruction at every turn. We have no regard for others, just selfish gain on all accounts. What a waste my life has been, so many days of this last quarter century....the only thing bringing any validity is God's grace and purpose. I feel that if there were some way to tally up my days of purpose against my days of neglect, they would be out numbered 100/1. We spend our days sneaking and lying through sleepless patches of existence. We are going to hurt and be hurt. God is the only thing worth living for. I see this clearly at such random points in life. I know it's truth, but only at the most desperate points do I see it so beautifully and clearly. I've given up on this life, but the future is bright. We just have to do our best to push through and seek God in all things until it's time to move on. God's mercy on us all.

Still Haven't Found What I'm Lookin for

When you look a certain way or act a certain way or come from a certain place, people make automatic judgments about you. This is true across the board for everyone, and it's just human nature. We have to assume things about people and places and moments in order to catalog them for ourselves. Nothing innately wrong with it, but it can be frustrating when people's perceptions of you are out of line with your reality.

For example, people, specifically men, seem to find it hard to understand why I'm single. (I have trouble understanding it myself.) But even if it seems crazy and even if you think that I'm the whole package, those thoughts don't negate the fact that I am single and that my commited life is a comedy of errors.

And while it's flattering to hear that people think highly of me, it's also frustrating. I'm not making it up for editorial sake when I say that I don't have a lot of luck in the relationship realm. And while I certainly make my share of bad choices, I finally realized that none of it is an accident or chance.

There is a reason, known only to Him, that God has held back in this arena of my life. It was whispered to me in a fleeting moment of pity that He can choose better for me than I ever could for myself. For reasons I'd perhaps like to leave uninvestigated, I tend to pick men with obvious flaws, like being unemployed or, heaven help me, 17, and studying.

But it's a reality I fight every second of every day. I don't want to be bitter and I don't want to think less of myself or my life because I'm just 17 and single. That's fruitless. My joy won't be found in relationships and my joy won't be found in girlfirendhood. My joy is found in Him, no where else, and the moment I accepted that the easier it became to laugh about all the crazy things that happen to me.

All of life is carrying on. Every one has their Thing, and maybe this is mine. And in the grand scheme of things, it's not such a bad Thing to have to deal with. I always have stories and I've met more people than I ever imagined I would, when I was a little girl and I lived out my life in dreams. I have memories that I wouldn't exchange for anything - of rooftop kisses and heart-to-hearts over pints of imported beer; memories of road trips in convertibles and camping under Southern skies. Sure, I've been rejected and ignored and hurt but I've also been pursued and loved and worshipped. And I still have that Moment to look forward to, that moment my friends still talk about whether they've been in a relationship for years and months - when they saw the man in front of them and saw their boyfriends. That's pretty heady, and most of the time, I feel so fortunate that it's still ahead of me.

All of that to say, don't be annoying and act like you can't understand why I'm single. I'm single because I am. Hallelujah.

UNDEROATH

As the final notes ring out on LOST IN THE SOUND OF SEPARATION, it’s evident that the six men of Tampa, FL-based UNDEROATH--who’ve built their career on being both heavy and experimental--have delivered their most ambitious and accomplished disc to date. Succinct and resolute, there’s little denying that the 43-minute, 11-track follow-up to 2006’s rapturously received and gold-certified Define The Great Line is a hard music masterpiece.

UNDEROATH–whose last three albums count combined sales in excess of one million copies–has worked diligently to reach this creative apex while building what may be the biggest metalcore following in the world. Through incessant touring and with a reputation for unrelentingly intense live shows—chronicled to perfection on the 2008 concert disc and DVD Survive, Kaleidoscope--the band has forged an unbreakable bond with its fans.
That allegiance earned the group a startling #2 debut for Define The Great Line on Billboard’s Top 200 Album Chart for first week sales exceeding 98,000 copies and marking the highest chart debut for a Tooth & Nail artist. On top of that, the band earned a Grammy nomination for “Best Short Form Music Video” for the surrealistic video for the album’s lead single “Writing On The Walls.” Critical acclaim for its thrilling mix of mayhem and melody, catharsis and experimentation came from both music and mainstream press alike. Alternative Press called the album “transcendent.” The Los Angeles Times took note of how “the album delves into new sonic territory, exploring phasing and untried guitar sounds…” And USA Today was unbridled in its praise of how “…singer Spencer Chamberlain howls against jagged riffs and rhythms that shift so suddenly he sounds like he’s walking an active fault line.”

Those same dedicated fans and enlightened scribes will undoubtedly embrace LOST IN THE SOUND OF SEPARATION based on audience reaction to the new material on UO’s summer 2008 trek headlining the Hot Topic stage on the Rockstar Energy Mayhem Tour, alongside the likes of Slipknot, Disturbed and Mastodon.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

AMiGO -- AMiGA

liveyourlifetothefullest:)

A friend is one to whom one may
pour out all the contents of one's heart,
chaff and grain together, knowing that the
gentlest of hands will take and sift it,
keep what is worth keeping and
with a breath of kindness
blow the rest away.



WRITINGS ON THE SAND

HIGHSCHOOL PROM CRASH!




JONG CARRIED ME :D





CHRISTMAS VACATION WITH
HIGHSCHOOL BUDDIES :)





THE COMEBACK KID (JACQUI). ^^




COLLAGE

LITTLE THINGS

I am really missing my friends today.

These times were always so much fun at my former school -- lots of lunches and Secret spies and parties. And always lots of goodies, sent from friends, foes and loved ones. A veritable smorgasbord, as Templeton might say.

Right now I'm laughing at pictures on facebook of my old school friends wearing cheery uniforms. They look good doing it.

And it's hard to not feel a little bit sorry for myself, so far away in this bitterly cold place, where I have cats for friends.

But then I looked out the window at Miming , running at breakneck speed around the yard, thrilled with the cold and the snow beneath his feet, and my heart grew three sizes.

Miming finds the joy in all seasons, in every day. I used to laugh at how much excitement would bubble out of her when he found the perfect stick to toss and catch and run around with, until one day it sort of struck me: when do I express that much happiness about anything ever?

And I realize he is just a cat, and (probably) not capable of complicated emotions and reason, but maybe that's better. He doesn't analyze what did he mean when he said this or what does it mean if I feel this?

Miming is happy each and every time she sees Tina or me. His ears perk up and his tail starts thumping rapidly and there's a lesson there, isn't there?

Life is short. The older you are, the shorter it gets, after all. The time to find joy in the little things is now.